The perpetrator is ALWAYS responsible for his or her crimes. Whether it is something as harmless as a 10-year-old child throwing a rock through the neighbor’s window or something far more threatening and harmful, like a male college student sexually assaulting a female peer incapacitated by alcohol. Clearly and unequivocally, the perpetrator is responsible. This blog entry does not attempt to identify “who” is responsible. We know who that is. Whether his sorry no good parents who produced him and sent him off to college to prey on women-OR their attorney, believe it or not-the responsible one is indeed their son-the perpetrator. This blog is designed, not to assert who is responsible for these crimes, but rather to address what we can do to stop it. There are two things that we need to do in order to stop sexual assault in its tracks on college campuses. One is to report the crime to law enforcement personnel when it happens. (not simply to college personnel) And the second thing that needs to be done is prevention. We need to teach our girls about the dangers of sexual assault in typical college settings, and then equip them with simple skills to help them avoid becoming a victim. I read an article this morning that absolutely alarmed me. But as in every case, considering the source, it may or may not be surprising. Ms. Hartman is a recent graduate, very young I am sure. Probably not a parent herself, which as we all know, puts a very different spin on life and the lenses through which we see and process information. Nevertheless, Avery Hartman, (a recent Syracuse University graduate and intern for USA Today) reported in USA today the absolute necessity to report sexual assault on campus.
Monthly Archives: August 2014
Transparency
Transparency as a personality trait is a good thing. Too many people hide behind their gifts, talents, education level, careers, money, or daily calendars! None of us know who you truly are or what you’re truly about when you allow yourself to only be seen through the filter of all you have accomplished. Transparency is about bringing authenticity to your relationships. Being real. One way we do this is by personal disclosure. This is very rarely accomplished by vomiting every detail of your life (sordid or perfect) to those you meet along the way. But it is about being honest with others in a way that requires us to admit such things as our faults, our fears, our confusion, or in general-admitting we just don’t have it all together. Ah yes, we don’t always have it all together. We’re imperfect parents, spouses, Christians, friends, bosses, employees! We are imperfect creatures created by a perfect God. But often what makes us imperfect also makes us different. And well, that’s a good thing. Transparency also makes us approachable. No one is going to feel like they can stack up next to super mom, or a super hero colleague! Nope! You who cannot in any way practice transparency need never worry about someone confiding in you about their struggles or their fears, or most probably even their hopes or their dreams. So being an opaque (yes that would be the opposite of transparent) kind of gal may seem productive to you, but it’s unfortunate for those closest to you. Think of your kids, husband, neighbors and friends. All people who would benefit greatly from knowing the real you, but instead, being convinced you are unapproachable, and “I could never be that perfect….” I remember once, when my kids were babies and my husband was deployed a LOT, speaking with an older wiser friend who had experienced a similar military lifestyle to mine. I confided to her that the struggle of “family reintegration” when Paul returned home was challenging and arguing often ensued. Her exact words to me “oh well my husband and I never argued.” I said “Well, congratulations.” And that was the last time I ever shared a single concern with her again. There are plenty of people in this world who do plenty of things much better than I ever could. That is a truth that will never change. But what’s in my grasp is to be to others a true picture of someone who has often failed on the way to all things wonderful in life. Transparent people invite change in others. Transparency also fosters hope and provides a safe place for someone else to reach their full potential on their way to all things wonderful in life.